Hello All! It’s so nice to exercise my love for writing! My name is DeAnna Denise Williams (DWiLL). I am a Circles Leader in the second cohort! I love the opportunities that are now open to me. Circles provides so many things. They care about the community. They want to help provide resources to succeed. They help you get money — not by giving you money! They gave us tools to see where the problems (in spending or saving) occur. The journey is really personal. They want you to succeed. They will support you. They want to help you get there. You have to figure out how you want to better your life, and then it’s off to the universe. You might then get help to get where you need to go. You might find someone that can open a door, or you might find someone to talk an idea right out of you. So many ways they could play out. It truly depends on you and your beliefs on if it will work for you. I personally am gaining from this program the confidence to keep my head up and push forward. I have a community of people that believe in my goals. They are so fun to share a meal with. I’ve met people that are teachers, moms, travelers and all walks of life. I should figure out better how I want to write these journal entries! I am sure I will get better with time. I want to write about my personal journey in the program. I will write of the community I am growing with. I’m open to hear what people want to know about me and my experience with the program! I wish to spread the joy!

DeAnna

Before Circles: I would sit in my car for hours! Watching Netflix on my phone, Facebook or youtubing! I was so depressed last winter! I have been in and out for maybe two years. I spend so much time alone, I sat in my apartment just happy to maintain it! I had an old Saturn XXX that was cheap and convenient but it was severely dangerous to drive! My depression mostly showed at work, I wore bandanas (multiple) and I still do but not over my face as I did in the past! Wore hats for the first time, (also which I still do but I don’t have to look down with my bad thoughts). I wasn’t writing or reading. I would work hard and spend money on fast food, drinks, and other things on impulse because I thought, “I work hard to buy whatever I want!” I wasn’t saving, I thought how could I! Since my car was unreliable, I didn’t go unless I thought, “I only have one life to live,” or I had to. This forced to stay at home as well. I could work out some, I just controlled small areas of my life and others I had just let go. I was gonna keep my car going and my house! I am single and my mom and 2 sisters all have kids at home, they love my but we do talk every day (I still wish to be closer with my family). I was proud to go to Ichiban every Friday! I bought alcohol every week. I would spend and then regret, type of check to check lifestyle! I would have almost/sometimes no money in any account but this all was ok because my phone was on, DTE on, rent paid (not on time consistently). I had unhealthy relationships with friends that were not a match to my lifes. I was happy somewhat on the outside and so too many emotions on the inside (confused, dissatisfied, bored, alone, tired, upset). I felt unaccomplished. Mostly, I knew I could do better but how? How do I just up and start? I am in debt. I am broke. I deserve nails and fast food and whatever, “I make it.”

We start, as always, with supper. As leaders and allies arrive at St. Lukes I sign in with our volunteer greeters, collect my name tag, and drift into the gym. Along the way I stop and greet new friends and acquaintances. Attention is being called for, and our dinner hosts, this week
the Dexter Rotary, are recognized. After saying grace together I find my co-allies and sit down with them, catching up on what has happened in the past week. Late last week they shared a women’s night out at the gym with one of our leaders, something the three of them agreed to
try at our last meeting. I am glad that they the opportunity.

As everyone lines up for dinner we keep an eye out for our leaders and the kids. They arrive as we start our meal and squeeze in with us. Conversation is focused on the kids’ progress and and events of the week. A family budgeting suggestion from last week’s match session is
brought up and it seems that, one week in, it may be doable. Dinner is over too quickly, and after clean-up everyone in cohort two heads to the east wing for a finance presentation by Latania Fair.

“Who has done their homework from two weeks ago?” The question from Ms. Fair causes some uncomfortable murmuring, but I’m relieved to say our team has completed the document. The ensuing discussion ranges over how decisions about spending are made, and
how different approaches to money and budgets are very much tied into our early family experiences. Just before eight we head out to the lobby for weekly “appreciations”. The kids are yawning as both Leaders and Allies express thanks for the community that is being built
here, before we all head home on this brisk March evening.

Six types of chili, fixings galore, and topped-off with freshly baked cinnamon rolls! What a great meal our Circles companions provided for us this early spring evening. Our own Circle sat together sharing notes on the chili and news of the week. Our Leaders had several “new and goods” to share his week, and the mood around our table was upbeat.

Following announcements we broke into match sessions. After several months of meeting I feel like we are just getting to know our Leaders well enough to talk seriously about money. A couple of weeks ago we had a discussion about what money generally represents to each of us. On the one hand, some of us felt that having enough money offered us freedom, that is freedom to make choices about the direction we might to take in life. On the other hand, some of us felt that money mainly offered security, or freedom from worry and want. Of course these two financial philosophies often exist side by side, but in the case of our Circle, one of our Leaders feels strongly about the freedom money represents, while the other leans much more toward money representing security. Our job as Allies, it seems, will be in part to help our Leaders balance these approaches.

To that end I think we took some small steps this evening. Our skill sets as Allies are pretty diverse, and we were able to offer some concrete actions that might be taken along with hands-on support for those actions. To the partner that wants to make choices which involve big changes we have suggested dividing that change into smaller, more manageable pieces, and were able to offer some technical support for a plan. For the partner who prefers security we proposed that the next piece of the “big change” plan might only advance when the family had reached a given, mutually agreed-upon, security milestone. It’s just a rough draft of an idea, but I look forward to the opportunity work with our leaders to begin tackling those devilish details.

Peter Smith